"Finish...Finish"...Oh...and I saw a ghost!

These are the words I am hearing most frequently in Singapore as delicious food is forced upon me.

Part of me thinks I should just enjoy it as I am on vacation but another part of me knows that I will be paying for it when I get back. I am going to do my best to eat well today. I think one reaches a point where their body starts to tell them enough is enough. I am feeling pretty bloated...I guess the two pints of beer and the milkshake probably didn't help.

Today we are on our own for dinner as we are going to a show this evening so that should help.

Tomorrow is kind of a day of travel as we are flying to Jakarta Indonesia so I am hoping I can be reasonably good then too.

I do not know what internet access will be like in Jakarta.  I suspect I will be able to get wireless periodically to check emails but do not know if I will be able to have access long enough to sit down and right a blog so if you do not hear from me for a week don't worry...all is good :-)

I need to be at least just a "little" good right now so that I start to feel good again.

On a completely different note I think I saw a ghost yesterday. I feel kind of weird typing this because I really don't believe in this stuff.

We went to an Indian restaurant for lunch and I went to use the bathroom. It was up a long set of stairs and was sort of creepy and very dark. I went to close the bathroom door but I had a lot of trouble. It felt like something was pushing back (although that thought never actually crossed my mind)....it was that feeling you get when you try to close or open a door against a really strong wind.

I got the door closed about 3/4 of the way and then instead of being hard to close the tension completely reversed and the door slammed shut really fast and really loud. It was like the effect wind could have but I was on the second floor in a dingy hallway and there was no wind.

It surprised me but I didn't think much about it. I turned around and jumped a little because I had thought I was alone, but there was a chubby Chinese man in a blue and white costume sitting on the toilet. He wasn't using the toilet but was just sitting on it. Then...in a split second...he was gone.

It freaked me out a bit but I didn't say anything as I thought it had to be my imagination and I didn't want to sound like a total freak.

The more I thought about the vision I saw and how it combined with the weird door experience the more it made me wonder exactly what it was.

Later we went to dinner with about twenty of Jamie's cousins and aunts and at some point during dinner I told Jamie about it on the side. I started my story to him with "don't tell anybody but..." .

Unfortunately he didn't hear those words as the story spread like wild fire and everyone was so intrigued. I think in Asian culture they are more accepting of this type of experience. They were all laughing about it and I seemed to be the only one doubting it actually occurred.

They were all surprised I still went to the bathroom and didn't run out though. LOL

One of his elder aunties say what I described sounded like the God of Luck visiting.

I hope so!

Be healthy!

Alan

Food In Singapore

I have to admit it is really tough to eat well in Singapore.

Correction..you can eat well very easily, but it is really hard to eat healthy in Singapore.

I can totally understand why there is no Weight Watchers program here. I think it would be virtually impossible to follow the plan.

Actually, when I think about it, I don't think I have seen a sign for any type of weight loss program here.

I suspect it is partly because "diet eating" doesn't really seem to exist, and partly because, other than the slightly evident tummies on some people, the only larger asians you see here are younger asian kids, and those kids are usually hanging out in McDonalds.

To be fair to McDonald's though, it seems to be one of the few places one can actually get a salad.

Everything seems to be a mixture of rice and noodles mixed with meat and sauce in a bowl, with a few vegetables on top of the dish as decoration.

Everything also seems to be shared here, so ordering one "healthier" dish just for yourself doesn't seem to be a possible reality. I think it might be perceived as rude.

The only thing you can really attempt to do is portion control but, when you are visiting relatives, that is tough. This is not really an asian thing, I think it transcends cultures...relatives do everything they can to force food down your throat.

I am just starting to get worried.

I caught myself counting the number of days remaining before I could get back to normal eating. One is not suppose to count down the number of days left in their vacation with the hope that is be over soon!

The one thing I can tell you though is that the food here is delicious. I will try almost anything and last night they started calling me an Asian trapped in a Canadian body.

Everything is so fantastically good that it is really hard to behave. I will do my best.

We will see friends from Sweden today. They arrived in Singapore last night.

It's so great they are meeting us here.

Be healthy!


Alan

...and so this is Christmas

It is the time of year when people get together with loved ones...sometimes it is the only time of the year when people get together with loved ones....and sometimes people really don't enjoy getting together with loved ones.

No matter what the scenario for you is I think it is important that we do get together with them if we can.

If we are close by it is important we get together with the people we love at some point during the holiday season, and if we are not close by it is important we find a way to make contact with them.

The reality is they will not be with us forever. It s uncertain who will go first, but it is certain that along the way we will lose loved ones.

I have a dear friend who will be living through the anniversary of the passing of her daughter today.

I blogged about this last year but I will blog about it again because more than anything else, my heart bleeds for anyone who has lost a child. I simply can't imagine it and my thoughts go out to her and anyone else who has lost someone or is feeling alone at this time of year.

All we can do is let the people we know, know that we care about them. It doesn't have to be in words. It can just be by making sure that in some very small way we make contact.

There are people on our lives that love us. It is important that we love them back.

I know...not a typical blog today...and full of my own self-riteous beliefs. I am sure there are many people going through other situations that I haven't even thought about, but I think the bottom line is this.

If you care about someone...let them know while you still can.

Be healthy!

Alan

Plastic Surgery...Or Not...Or Something In Between

I debated on whether to write about this topic or not as I am not sure how well it fits in with "Nutrition and Health" although I did write about it once before a very long time ago.

I do think it matters how you feel about your looks in terms of overall mental health though. You just feel better about yourself if you feel you look good. We all experience that when we get ready to go out somewhere and feel like we "look good"...we also feel great.

Besides, I am a vain person...I totally admit it.

I do know that the possibility exists that things can go horribly wrong though. You should see the "pulled back" lady we saw walking around Singapore today! Jamie just looked at me and said: "Is that what you want?" LOL

A few years ago I had botox injections and walked around looking like Dr Spock for six months. It was not pretty and it kind of scared me off doing stuff to my face.

Over time, however, there have been things I would like to "fix" if I could do it without looking frozen or plastic.

I don't like the bags under my eyes, nor do I like the indented lines that run from either side of my nose to the sides of my lips. While I think the lines in my forehead make me look older when I raise my eyebrows I am not too keen on changing that as the last thing I want is the "frozen head look".

After much research I decided to book a consultation with a plastic surgeon in Singapore just to see what he had to say. He is renowned as one of the top plastic surgeons in the world so I wanted to at least hear what he had to say.

My plan was to play it smart. Playing with one's face is so permanent I booked the appointment at a time where I really COULDN'T actually do a surgery. We leave for Jakarta in the three days and then when we come back we are only in Singapore for three days before we start our trip home (with a stop over in London). Surgery wasn't a possibility as I didn't allow for sufficient recovery time.

Sooo...my thinking was..."Consultation...good"...surgery this trip "impossible"...it was a good plan.

What I didn't expect was for one of the top ten plastic surgeons in the world to tell me that I do not need plastic surgery.

I did not speak of my previous botox experience but the plastic surgeon also told me not to ever let anyone do botox on me as it would be disastrous.

This was a good start...I was impressed.

He then told me that he would suggest filler in the lines from the nose to the mouth and then some more in the cheeks. The filler in the cheeks wouldn't totally resolve the "bags under the eyes" issue but it would mean that my cheeks aren't pulling down on the eyes so the bags would not be as obvious because there would be less weight pulling them down. The result would be a more youthful appearance. That sounded pretty good.

The procedure would last 1 1/2 to two years (which s about how often we go to Singapore to see Jamie's family) , does not require surgery, and only takes about 15 minutes. It is also reversible if I don't like it.

Soooo....it is actually possible that I could do this.

To be honest I want to do it.

Jamie is less sure and I respect that. He thinks I don't need it yet and I should wait for our next visit.

I will probably do as Jamie suggests. Not so much because I want to but because it is an important decision, we are a team, and I think we both need to be onboard with it.

I would really like to get it done, but am not desperate to get it done, so I will likely wait.

What do you think?

I totally expect people to tell me I am nuts as that is the most frequent response one hears when one considers altering their face.

Be healthy!

Alan

Dentistry for Weight Loss

I was getting a little worried about all the food here in Singapore but found the perfect, if temporary, solution.

Go to the dentist...let him tell you you need the back tooth extracted but that it will be "minor surgery" and then tell them to go for it!

Only problem was this all occurred at about 3:30pm today (which is 2:30AM back in good old Toronto) . I hadn't eaten since leaving Jamie's mom's condo at 9AM because I didn't want to go into the dentist office with food stuck between my teeth.

By the time I was told all this I was starving and it didn't sound like I was going to be able to eat afterward.

So...I told them to go ahead with the surgery but that I needed to leave the dentist office and eat before they did it.

They told me I could have something light, which I did, and now eating is real tough.

This should keep me in check for another couple of days.

Perhaps I will just get a tooth pulled every three days and then get porcelain implants put in on the last day!

Then I will go home thin and pretty :-)

Sounds like a plan! Anyone got $40,000K they want to give me for Christmas?

Be healthy!

Alan

ooops

Major derailment yesterday but I had a lot of fun.

Got an awesome Christmas present yesterday which was loaded with chocolates and I ate them all.

Then we had Martinis followed by a birthday dinner for a friend (I chose good food but not healthy food) and of course combined the dinner with copious amounts of wine.

No regrets...it was a blast....but feeling kind of bloated today.

I really don't worry about "a day in life"...it is only when it continues that there is a real problem.

I may have a problem though...I'm going to a Christmas dinner today.

Fingers crossed I survive the weekend without putting on ten pounds!

Be healthy (I will try)

Alan

No...I did not cheat!

I weighed in yesterday. I was down 3.4 pounds. Yay!

I am real happy about that but I have been accused of cheating by my spouse. I did not cheat. I simply made a choice.

Normally I weigh in around 5pm. Yesterday I weighed in at 3pm because I was hungry and wanted to weigh in before I ate. That is NOT cheating!

I have been going to Weight Watchers for a long time and I have yet to meet someone who eats BEFORE they weigh in. In my mind it is much smarter to just weigh in so you can eat like a normal person rather than starve yourself for two more hours so that you weigh in at the right time. I ate a six inch subway sub after I weighed in. Had I waited it would have been a 12 inch sub.

So...I did not cheat. At least that is my rationale (I can rationalize anything) and I am sticking to it :-)

I wish I could end this blog by saying I remained perfect the rest of the evening though. We went to a farewell party later that night for a friend who is going to work on a cruise ship  and I had about 5 pints of beer and an order of Nachos.

It was an indulgence but a well deserved one I think (there I go rationalizing again).

Today will be a 100% healthy day.

Be healthy!

Alan

Symbols of Inner Determination

A friend sent me a message last night letting me know that he was happy that I started my blog again and that it was "almost a visual symbol of your inner determination this time".


I hadn't really thought about it but that is so very true. I knew the blog helped me stay focused but I hadn't really thought about it being the anchor for my inner determination.


It also made me think about Cindy (our Weight Watcher's leader). Each Christmas she gives us an "anchor". Something to visually see to remind us to stick to our goals. As silly as it may sound, anchors do help us stay focused.


This year Cindy gave everyone a "round tuit". It doesn't really matter what a round tuit looks like. The point is that we often say we will accomplish a task when we get a "round tuit". So now we all have one and there are no more excuses.


When I do the blog it is my anchor. It is indeed a symbol of inner determination and that symbol keeps me strong.


Inner determination on its own can get weak from time to time and an anchor will either stop us from getting weak or get us back on track if we do have a momentary period of weakness.


Do you have a visual symbol of inner determination? If not I encourage you to get one. I am finding  it REALLY helps.


Yesterday was a pretty perfect day. I splurged with one bite of a butter tart but other than that I was spot on :-)


Be healthy!


Alan

The Second Plate

Went to to a Holiday party that included a buffet dinner last night.

On the food front I think I did well. Ok...maybe a tad too much chocolate dessert but all things considered I think I handled myself pretty well.

I almost totally gave in to temptation. After I had finished eating I actually stood up to go for a second plate of food, but then I somehow managed to smarten myself up and sit down again.

The thing is, I wanted that second plate of food but I didn't NEED it.

In the moment, I was hungry for it and thought I really needed it but two minutes after I sat back down I had actually forgotten about it and never gave it a second thought. It just goes to show what tricks the mind can play on us.

At the end of the day I think success boils down to one's ability to shoot down the devil on the shoulder that is filling us with bad advice.

That devil did convince me to drink a fair bit so I have some work to do to compensate for that but today there is nothing special at all happening so today will be a good day.

Be healthy!

Alan

Gingerbread

Had a wonderful dinner out last night with great friends.

On the plus side the dinner was quite healthy (there was even a weight watcher's dessert), but on the down side I managed to become fixated in the gingerbread and ate it like a madman. It was real good but it just reinforces in myself that I have just a tad bit of a self control issue....but give me a break...it was good!

Still, I ate more gingerbread than I should, and I know with the holiday season upon us this week is going to be jam packed with social functions. I am out tonight, Wednesday night, Friday night, and Saturday as well. I can't afford not to be careful!

I think tonight will be the hardest. I am going to a buffet dinner and I don't think there will be many healthy choices. There will also be copious amounts of alcohol I am sure.

I will be as good as I can.

I still think the most critical thing during times like this is to be 100% perfect outside of the "events". The events themselves will be a challenge, but if I couple that with poor eating during the day, then "disaster" is the only possible outcome.

So 100% healthy it is during the day today, and as healthy as I can be this evening.

Be healthy!

Alan

Yes We Can!

I have a vision board in my office.

In the centre of the vision board is a picture of a thin me with my arms up in the air and the slogan "Yes We Can!"

I was happy when I put that board up because I was feeling thin and excited about the prospects of staying thin.

Well...I haven't exactly stayed thin consistently, but I am happy to report that I am actually getting pretty thin right now.

It is funny though. I am not feeling the same excitement that the guy in the middle of that vision board was feeling.

I guess it is impossible to remain excited about being thin 24/7 all year round.

Don't get me wrong, I am real glad I am back on the right path but sometimes paths aren't as exciting as we want them to be.

Last night was Saturday night and my excitement for the evening was watching a movie at home that was over by 9:30. I was at a loss as to what to do with myself after that.

I don't think it means that it will be unexciting forever. I am, for example, going to be getting together with awesome people tonight.. Sooner or later there is another bend in the road and things start to change...hopefully for the better.

I think that when the road is fairly straight and boring it is easy to forget that the only way to reach the next bend is to keep going forward and be as good as we can along the way.

I intend to stay on the right path, and when I reach that bend in the road I just know that when I go around the corner I am going to find myself emerged in excitement, beauty, and health.

Be healthy,

Alan

Planning

Tis the season to eat food fa la la la la...la la la la.

Do you have a lot of social events on the horizon? I do.

For some strange reason it doesn't scare me as much as it usually does (ok...ok....it doesn't always scare me...sometimes I am perfectly content to eat my way through the season and deal with the consequences later).

They always tell us at Weight Watcher's that we need a "plan". That it is important to figure out how to have fun without being over indulgent.

Problem is we (or at least "I") have been brought up to believe that overindulgence is not only right during the holidays, it is pretty much an expectation and a requirement.

So will I indulge? Sometimes. Will I overindulge? I am supposed to say "NO" but if I am being honest with myself the real answer is "sometimes". That is still a lot better than my old answer with was "all the time".

What is my plan?

I don't have a major one. I want to have fun...but the plan that I do have is to try to at least keep it reasonable most of the time and behave when I am not at a social event.

So the real plan is simply to be good whenever I am able. If I keep myself in check during the day as well as during the "down" nights I should come out of the holiday season ok.

That is the plan. We shall see if the plan works.

Be healthy!

Alan

The Secret

Hi everyone!

Following my post yesterday announcing that I had lost 11.1 pounds in three weeks I got a few Facebook messages asking what my "secret" was.

I would love to say it was extensive exercise because I really believe in it. Unfortunately I spent 90% of that three weeks unable to exercise because I had thrown out my back.

I would also love to say it was weight watchers as I am 100% certain that without them I would be fifty pounds heavier (at least).

I was, however, away when I hurt my back, not following the Weight Watchers program, and eating in restaurants every day.

I did have a BIG secret though. I followed my secret diligently and guess what. It worked!

Are you ready for the secret? Well...here it is....it is common sense.

Believe me...that sounds easy but it is not. When it comes to eating with common sense I am one of the worst. I usually can't find my common sense. Put a restaurant menu in front of me and common sense disappears out the window.

Ironically, however, exercise did still help me...it helped me attain common sense.

It was not that I was exercising that gave me common sense. It was the fear of what might happen to my body because I COULD NOT exercise AND I was eating out.  I was scared into eating well.

So....this is what Jamie and I did:

1) Each morning at the free breakfast buffet we pretty much just had toast and fruit.
2) We went out for lunch each day and orderer, within reason, what we wanted.
3) When we got our lunch in the restaurant we divided out meals in half and only ate half.
4) After I finished eating half, just to make sure I wouldn't eat more while waiting for the check I put my fork in an unreachable place (going to the washroom and dropping it off near the kitchen works great).
5) We had the second half of our lunch for dinner.

By doing this we managed to eat out everyday for every meal, not exercise, and lose weight.

Common sense makes so much sense. It baffles me that I have such a hard time using it on a regular basis.

Be healthy!

Alan

Down 11.1 pounds!

Stepped on the scale yesterday and I am down 11.1 pounds. Soooooo happy!

That is a three week weight loss, but even so it is significant.

A friend of mine surpassed the 100 pound weight loss mark last week. I think this could become epidemic!

What a bunch of losers we are!

Be healthy,

Alan

Stepping On The Scale

Tonight is the night. I am going to step on the scale and see how I have done over the past three weeks since I "restarted" a healthier approach to eating.

I am really tempted to step on a scale right now but I am going out for lunch today and I know if I step on a scale this morning and use that as my weight for the three weeks I will feel like "all is done", which means I have a free pass to eat at lunch.

So, I am going to weigh in on a Wednesday night like I am supposed to, and hope that the knowledge of this will get me though lunch safely.

It really is a mind game isn't it? The things we do to ourselves to either attain success or destroy our success.

One of the hardest things I struggle with is weighing in every week no matter what. I really have to force myself to do this EVERY week and I have often "skipped" the weigh-in (please note I am weighing in for the first time in three weeks today). It is easy on days like today when I know I am down, but when I know the scale is tilting in the wrong direction it is so easy to skip that week's weigh-in.

When the scale is heading upward I tend to think: "I know what the scale is going to say so why bother right?" Wrong. Not facing it just leads you down the wrong path.

So...I am going to work on this. I am going to work on weighing in EVERY week no matter what the scale might say.

It is a lot harder than it sounds.

Will let you know what the scales say tonight when I blog tomorrow.

Be healthy!

Alan

I feel pretty, and witty, and...

Have you ever noticed that after just a couple of days of eating well you feel SOOOOOO much better?

That is how I feel now. My eating habits have not been perfect but have been reasonably good for about three weeks now and it feels like yet another major corner has been turned on this road to health.

My stomach looks like someone has finally punctured the tire and I am not walking around like a total zombie.

I have taken the back support brace I was wearing off and I feel great!

The most exciting thing is that my clothes fit again!

There is and old saying that goes something along the lines of "nothing tastes as good as slim feels". It has been altered over the years as it has been interpreted to be a bad message to those with eating disorders and I think the most common version of the expression now is "nothing feels as good as being healthy feels". The new version isn't quite as catchy, so, unless you have, or are at risk of developing, an eating disorder, I say go with the first.

I am feeling slim for the first time in a long time and want to dance around singing "Feeling Good" along with Jennifer Hudson.

I won't dance around to "that other song" but I do feel "pretty and witty and...." yes... gay :-)

Be healthy!

Alan

Boredom Eating

I'm trying to be aware of the head space I am in right now.

Things are pretty quiet and when they are quiet it is so easy for me to gravitate toward food. Who am I kidding?...if anything happens it is easy for me to gravitate toward food.

I can find almost any reason to eat and eating simply because it is "something to do" I am capable of doing on autopilot....this means I need to be particularly aware.

I am making sure I write about this today for one reason and one reason only...and that is to make myself aware for the next 24 hours.

I think I am getting good at knowing the various phases I go through. I know the signals...it is whether I choose to listen to them or not that is the big question.

The "boredom" signal is a particularly dangerous one. Once I get it I think I have about a 24 hour window to fight it. If I can keep myself on track for 24 hours the desire to eat in order to "fill time" will subside, but if I start eating the wrong foods, the road will start going steeply downhill and it will get more and more difficult to stop.

I have been reasonably good lately. I did have a take out chicken dinner last night but in the scheme of my recent overall eating patterns it isn't an issue.

If I remain on track today I consider myself to have always been on track. I am allowed to have a bit of an indulgence occasionally.

Today is critical though. I must...and will...be good.

Be healthy!

Alan

Doing The Best We Can

The experience with my back injury is humbling me a bit.

As most of you know I exercise a lot and am always encouraging others to do the same.

I guess I am getting a taste of what it is like when one has limited ability to exercise.

I refuse to say an inability to exercise because I think that unless you are a vegetable there is always something you can do.

Still...having limited ability to exercise places a whole different spin on things. If you can't do much, you start to wonder what the point of doing anything is.

Yesterday I went for a two hour walk. It is the only thing I am allowed to do right now. I quite liked it but it seemed to take up so much of the day...I started to wonder if it was really worth it.

Surprisingly, however, it was. I still felt like I had done something when I was finished and I just felt refreshed and revitalized.

I also just realized that my statement that it "seemed" to take forever was just that...a statement that is not based on reality. Although it took two hours out of my day, that two hours started the second I walked out my door.

When I go to the gym by the time I get there, work out, shower, change, get back home, I have easily consumed two hours and yet I don't perceive that to be a problem time-wise at all.

So, I have been humbled into realizing that the exercise I continually propose isn't easy to accomplish for many, but I have also realized that no matter how little one can do, what you can do is still worthwhile.

Like everything else in life, we can only do the best we can do.

Had another great day of nutritious eating yesterday.

Be healthy!

Alan

I Need You

My friend Joni has convinced me of something. I need you.

Some bloggers have kindly let me know that perhaps they need me too and you have no idea how good that makes me feel.

I need you to keep things "right".

Things have been challenging at times lately and I haven't alway been in control of what I am eating (ok..here we go...that is a lie right there...we are ALWAYS in control of what we are eating unless we are being force fed in a hospital bed) as a lot of time has been spent with my mother-in-law visiting from Singapore and she cooks great food. The thing is, however, is that it almost always involves some form of white rice whether it be breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Not only is too much white rice bad for me I think that it triggers further carb cravings.

I really can't blame it on the mother-in-law though. We always have a choice about what we eat, and, if I ONLY ate what she made I would probably be fine.

The good news is I have been quite good the last 11 days and I am quite sure I have lost weight. I am hoping for five pounds but will let you know when I step on a scale Wednesday. I have decided to be strict about stepping on a scale only one day a week.

The bad news is that exercise is impossible for me right now. I was dumb enough to flip over a coffee table in a shopping mall, and now I get to wear this supportive brace thing and can't exercise. I am actually at the point where I feel 95% recovered but the brace can't come off (except for showering) until this Wednesday. It appears there will not be any permanent damage though so I am a lucky man :-). I really believe that the fact that I have exercised a lot gave me a stronger core which is resulting in less damage and a quick recovery.

Anyway, back to needing you.

I was pretty faithful at blogging for about a year, and then I started to pull back. I guess it was partly because I was faltering, party because the daily excitement of doing it had faded, and partly because I felt like I was starting to sound pretty damn self righteous.

I always kind of knew the blogs could sound a bit self righteous but, when I was doing well, I was able to find, in my mind, a level of comfort with it. When I was  doing poorly 80% of the time and still sounding self righteous it kind of made me uncomfortable.

So what is the point? The point is that somewhere along the road I began to miss the point of my own blog. It was supposed to be about group support as we work through our successes and set-backs together with full knowledge that there would be set-backs...and sometimes set-backs are extreme.

I had an extreme set-back and, in retrospect, I can see that I ran away from the very support system that was in place for me. That support system is you.

So I thank Joni for making me realize that I need to blog. I also thank my blogger friends for telling me that my blog actually added value to their journey at times. If it helps someone else along the way that will make me SOOOO happy, but even if it doesn't help a single person I really appreciate you putting up with my throwing it in your face from time to time and reading it once in a while because it keeps me on track.

As Martha Stuart would say: "It's a good thing" :-)

Love you all.

Be healthy!

Alan

This Is It. For Good.

The day of reckoning has come. It is time, once and for all, to put processed foods behind me and lead a healthy life.

I am tired of flip flopping. I am tired of the weight gain and loss roller coaster. I am tired of writing a blog that is supposed to be inspirational and then failing miserably.

I have been bad lately. Scratch that...I have been abysmal. I have also been pretty invisible on this blog. I guess the two go hand in hand.

I have every excuse in the book...and they are all valid. I did two jobs while Jamie was away, and then the day after he got back I started covering for a colleague who was on vacation so I have done two jobs until tonight, and I have been taking a course at the Institute of Holistic Nutrition. I have barely had time to sleep let alone eat. Monday and Tuesday I really didn't even have time to sleep.

So I made my choices...and they were my choices. I ate burgers out, had chips and coke, had egg salad sandwiches purchased from supermarkets at lunch, and enjoyed Pizza. I also haven't made it to a Weight Watchers meeting in five weeks.

What is the result? I am up about twenty pounds.

I am not depressed...just tired. Tired of getting myself in this situation. I don't feel good.

How ironic is it that I eat crap while spending my spare time studying Nutrition? It is ridiculous.

So this is it. It is time...once and for all...to practice what I learn.

Will I still go out for dinner? Of course. Will I be perfect? Of course not. Will I be as close to perfect as I possibly can while making sure I am not making myself miserable? Absolutely.

So here is to new beginnings and here is to new beginnings once and for all. No more "starting over".

This is it my friends.

The time has come.

I am hoping you will come on this final journey with me if you are not already there.

Be healthy!

I will.

Alan 

Feeling Challenged and Finding a Solution

Hey all!

I think most of you know that Jamie left on a an emergency visit to Singapore for three and a half weeks as his mother went into hospital. The good news is she has returned home and is doing well.

I have found things quite challenging in his absence. Doing his job on top of mine is time consuming and when you add in the fact that part of his job involves making breakfasts that are not very healthy it isn't easy. I don't make these breakfast regularly so between the overall lack of time and my desire to ensure everything tastes ok I am finding myself eating the breakfasts. This has to stop.

Today is the first day after labour day so summer is over...it has to stop now.

It doesn't look like the schedule is going to lighten up any so I have decided to spend a little money and make my life easier until he returns on the 25th.

I have called "Fuel Nutrition" which is a company that delivers healthy food to your door every morning and asked them to deliver food to me for the next 13 business days (they only deliver Monday to Friday). That will ensure I am eating really good food without having to think.

It is money I didn't really want to spend but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

I am trying to fight off a cold right now but don't think I am winning the battle. Feeling all congested this morning (which is why I am up at 4:30 in the morning).

To my friends at WW I am afraid I won't be there Wednesday night as I have to be home to check a guest in to the B&B.

If you are off track, it is time to get yourself back on track given that labour day has passed and the summer "season" is over. :-). Today is the day.

Be healthy!

Alan

Three and a half weeks of food

Ok I am now officially in charge of running a B&B for three and a half weeks.

Jamie's mom took ill in Singapore and he left on a flight this afternoon to go take care of her. She is still in hospital but she will be fine.

Obviously all that really matters is Jamie's Mom but the ripple effect is that the next three and a half weeks I will be running the B&B on top of doing my Real Estate job and September is always our busiest month of the year for the B&B. It is a pretty busy month for Real Estate too.

You can't get accommodation anywhere in Toronto in September because of things like the Toronto International Film Festival and Jamie likes to capitalize on it, so every September we give up our own bedroom, rent that out as well... and we sleep in the office.

So here I sit...in my office...where I will remain...because there are three guests in my bedroom right now.

If only that were as fun as it sounds :-)

So tomorrow I will be up at 6:00AM making stacked pancakes layered with fruits and almond slices and syrup...sounds yummy doesn't it? Only problem is I can't eat it.

That is the way it is going to be for the next three and half weeks...delicious food (well at least I hope it is delicious) right in front of me every morning and I can't have it.

Can you say "Challenge"?

Be healthy,

Alan

In a bit of shock right now

I just received some sad news that I wanted to share with my friends who go to WW with me.

I am afraid that John Millar from our group passed away last night.

I don't know many details other than he had a pain in his ear and ended up in hospital. He then slipped into a coma for a day or so and passed away.

I can't say I knew John really well but always enjoyed seeing him in Weight Watchers.

While almost everyone said "hi" at the meeting, John always said "Hi Alan". I know that is a silly little thing but it is a silly little thing I always noticed. It somehow had more meaning, especially since I can never remember anyone's names.

He had been a longtime follower of our leader Cindy. Meeting her first at "WW at Work" meetings at Dofasco and then joining our Wednesday night group.

I will miss John.

It is yet again a reminder that our lives are too short to mess around with. We must enjoy every minute we can and take care of ourselves so we have as many minutes as possible.

Rest in Peace John.

Be healthy,

Alan

Getting Back In The Swing Of Things

OK I am back...at least I hope I am.

I am eating well, exercising regularly, and have registered for two more courses at the Institute of Holistic Nutrition.

I am going to try and do things a little differently this time though and make it my goal to lose weight as slowly as possible.

I can lose weight quickly but in the long run it just doesn't work for me...I gain it back just as quickly.

If I lose it slowly it will take me longer to lose it and hopefully by the time I will have established better eaten habits.

That is the theory at least.

So here we go again....onward and downward :-)

Be healthy,

Alan

Posting The Picture

Ok I am keeping my promise of yesterday. I don't particularly like where I am "at" right now but the first step toward changing what you don't like is facing what you don't like.

So here they are...the pics of my current body:

Can I live with where my weight is? Yes.

Do I feel good where my weight is? No.

I don't really need the pictures to tell me to get my act together...the way I feel is already telling me. I don't feel healthy.

The good news is I am on the road to recovery once again. Yesterday and today were good days and tomorrow is going to be even better.

I am going to force myself to be good until I actually feel like I WANT to be good again.

As I said yesterday, sometimes waiting around for motivation simply doesn't work.

Be healthy!

Alan

Motivation

Do you ever lose your motivation to continue?

I do, I have, and I have been there for a while.

It isn't a case of giving up as much as it is a case of getting comfortable with where I am.

Being comfortable is good right?

Perhaps...but perhaps not. It depends on whether or not it is an excuse. In my case it is an excuse.

I say I am happy where I am but then I get up in the morning and look in the mirror and I feel disappointed instead of happy. I think about how I feel inside and I don't have that "bouncy" feeling of health...I have the weighed down feeling of food.

I am NOT comfortable where I am. It is just easier to think I am.

Finding the motivation to restart is hard when you tell yourself you are comfortable. I need to re-find that motivation.

Even my lack of blogging is primarily due to a lack of motivation. I say I am busy but I could have time....if I wanted to.

So I need to turn things around and remotivate myself.

I will start with affirmations. Just stopping a few times a day and telling myself I can do this. I will also do my best to keep my commitments even though they are way past due date.

I haven't posted a picture of myself shirtless on this blog in ages even though I have promised several times. I will take that picture today and post it tomorrow. It won't be pretty...but I will do it.

The only way to remotivate oneself is to start doing the right things. Sometimes motivation doesn't come from within. Sometimes you have to force yourself in the early stages.

It is time for me to force myself.

Be healthy!

Alan

A DAY TO VALUE LIFE!

Hi all!

I know I have said this a million times but I really do hope to get back to regular blogging soon. Things are just so busy lately!

I have been reasonably good (after being bad) so I am not where I want to be weight-wise but it is going down again. I will take a picture on the 12th and post it on the 13th regardless of what my weight is at the time. I have to get back to forcing myself to stay in check.

I couldn't let today go by without posting a message though.

Today is the anniversary of the passing of two people who touched my life immensely. The first is my friend Kelly who passed away August 8th, 1978. She wasn't afraid to be my friend when I was young and no-one else would because I didn't "fit in". I will miss her forever and my heart goes out to her family on this day. Time may help us cope but it certainly does not heal all wounds.

The other is my sister Shirley. She passed away from Ovarian Cancer ten years ago today at the age of 47. I am still having trouble grasping the fact that my life is now longer than hers was. We were a lot alike, I think, and I miss her so.

When one lives with the memories of someone who is no longer here, I think one really begins to understand how precious every day of our life is...and how important it is to have as many "days" as possible. Shirley and Kelly were not as fortunate as us.

We are here, and, to a certain extent it is within our power to stay here.  It is also within our power to be happy. Life is about choice. Let's make sure we make the right ones. I would like to be blogging to you when I am 97.

Be healthy,

Alan

P.S. Shirley's daughters are organizing a team to walk in Shirley's memory at the Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope. Jamie and I will be walking. If you would like to sponsor either one of us, click on either of the links below. Thank you in advance for your support:

To Sponsor Jamie Click Here:

Donate in Shirley's Memory via Jamie

To Sponsor Alan Click Here:

Donate in Shirley's Memory via Alan

Well that was brutal

Just went through a really rough caffeine withdrawal..but I survived.

I started doing a cleanse that required no caffeine and I figured this was as good a time as any to finally buckle down and kick the habit.

The problem was a cleanse is supposed to release everything and it seemed to me that taking any medication to deal with the withdrawal headaches would have the opposite effect. It would suppress rather than release. So it had to be done drug free.

I have to tell you if you don't think caffeine is an addiction...try going off it. I was in agony. The headaches were so bad I was debilitated for 24 hours and vomited three times. I was withdrawing from a serious addiction just like any other addiction.

After the first 24 hours things got better and I had a mild headache for another 24 hours but now the headache is pretty much gone.

So the caffeine withdrawal is done but the cravings still linger on. I would kill for a coffee right now.

I know I can have decaf but want to break the habit of automatically needing coffee every morning so I will force myself not too.

Will have a decaf tea later in the day though.

Be healthy!

Alan

A Message For The Wednesday Night WW Meeting Group

Hi all.

Going though major caffein withdrawal today so won't write much. Head is absolutely pounding. Will blog about it tomorrow.

My cousin Barb called today and asked me to post a message of the blog.

Apparently after I left last week a group of people discussed going to Botanical Gardens Jazz festival after tomorrow'a meeting.

Barb looked into it and she says it is a "go" for all who want to attend but it isn't free. Entry is $13 or $10 for seniors.

Barb says if you want to go, bering a salad and paper plate etc with you and people can head over after the meeting. The Jazz festival runs from 6:30pm - 8:30pm.

If you can't make it tomorrow (like I can't) Barb says not to worry. We can do it again in a couple of weeks.

Be healthy,

Alan

STARING DOWN THE CHOCOLATE

There is a delicious chocolate covered cookie three feet away from me. There used to be six.

We had a return B&B guest bring us a box of the most delicious chocolate cookies I have ever had in my life. Yes I had one...ok ok...I had two...yesterday. Oh my god....soooooo good.

One remains. It is on Jamie's desk but he isn't here and I feel like there is an invisible force pulling me toward it...it feels like I have no choice...it wants me....and I want it...we were meant to be one.

That is how I am feeling as I type this.

It is also the attitude that got me fat in the first place. The feeling that food and I were meant to be.

It is all a lie.

That chocolate cookie is going to make love to me and then attach itself to me and never let go. It will follow me everywhere I am and make me miserable. It will do everything it can to sap the energy out of me so I just feel like lying around at home instead of going to the gym where I might find something better. It is a manipulative self-serving cookie who will make love to anyone that wants it. It is the kind of cookie that seduces you into cheating with its insatiable good looks.

I will resist. I will not let that whore of a cookie deprive me of my happiness for the sake of a short wild fling.

It is nothing more than a common hussy. I deserve better. So do you.

Be healthy!

Alan

Inspired

Hi Everyone!

Do you ever wake up inspired? It doesn't happen to me a lot but this morning it did. I woke up (at 4AM) and the first thing I thought was...I want to write my blog. It has been too long!

How have you all been?

I am doing great. I guess that shouldn't be that surprising. One always feels more inspired when they feel great don't they?

I can honestly say that I have been good...no wait...I have been practically perfect for 7\seven days now. I can only say "practically" perfect because I had some free samples at the Costco demo tables yesterday.

I have also gone for a couple of visits to see my friends Stacey and Lauren for a couple of colonics at VitaLife Digestive Wellness Clinic so I am getting cleaned right out. I know I know...some of you are thinking that is information you didn't need to know but if you want to be healthy and protect against future disease I highly recommend them.

Lauren made an interesting comment when I was there.

I was talking to her about how I always seem to do so well and then seem to sabotage myself. She said she could relate (although she does not have a weight issue that I am aware of) as she does the same type of thing. She thinks it is because she likes the challenge of starting something new.

That, my friends, was an eye opening thought for me. Maybe that is part of my issue. I am always saying "change" keeps me going, but maybe there is a downside to it. Perhaps I can actually sabotage myself in the quest for a new challenge. Definitely food for thought (no pun intended).

I still thing change is critical to success though. Boredom will always send you travelling down the wrong path.

Anyway...I just had to pop my smiling face back into the picture and say that I am alive, well, and feeling inspired. I hope you are too.

Be healthy!

Alan

P.S. I big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister Sondra today :-)

You Are Perfect

Hi All!

This is a bit of a "Part 2" to my blog titled "You Are Beautiful".

The message is the same. You are perfect and you are beautiful.

Why I am I writing about the same thing? Because I can't get this song out of my head. It touches too close to home and I know it touches the hearts of a lot of us who have gone through life with weight issues and/or other issues and all the prejudice associated with it.

The lyrics are below:

Pink – F**kin’ Perfect (Clean Version) Lyrics

Made a wrong turn
Once or twice
Dug my way out
Blood and fire
Bad decisions
That’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, missunderstood
Miss, no way it’s all good
It didn’t slow me down
Mistaken
Always second guessing
Underestimated
Look, I’m still around…

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than
less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me

You’re so mean
When you talk
About yourself
You are wrong
Change the voices
In your head
Make them like you
Instead
So complicated
Look how big you’ll make it
Filled with so much hatred
Such a tired game
It’s enough
I’ve done all i can think of
Chased down all my demons
see you do the same

Pretty, pretty please
Don’t you ever, ever feel
Like you’re less than
less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please
If you ever, ever feel
Like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me

The whole world stares while i swallow the fear
The only thing i should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in lying and we tried tried tried
But we try too hard, it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cuz they’re everywhere
They don’t like my genes, they don’t get my hair
Strange ourselves and we do it all the time
Why do we do that?
Why do I do that?
Why do I do that?

Ooh, pretty pretty pretty,
Pretty pretty please don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than
less than perfect
Pretty pretty please if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing
you are perfect to me
You’re perfect
You’re perfect to me
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel
like you’re less than, less than perfect
Pretty, pretty please if you ever ever feel
like you’re nothing
you are perfect to me

There really isn't much for me to say that can top the words of this song.

The bottom line it that we are all on a journey. It doesn't matter where we are on that journey...love yourself now.

Be healthy!

Alan

P.S The video of this song can be viewed at: 

Listen to the Video/Song here

YOU ARE PERFECT!!!

I Weighed In

In yesterday's blog I was trying to decide whether or not I would weigh in at Weight Watchers. I decided to do it and I am 204 pounds. That is exactly the weight I said I though I was on Monday.

It still freaks me out that 204 pounds is possible for me without looking excessively overweight. Working out is good.

I am thinking that I am going to compromise on the weight thing. I am going to weigh in like a good boy and have Weight Watchers record it weekly but unless I am really feeling out of control I am going to tell them I only want them to tell me my weight once a month. 

It is the best of both worlds. I can review my situation on a monthly basis while keeping it honest and shifting the focus away from the scale. I am liking this concept.

On another note I got inspired by Marilyn Dennis on the radio yesterday. She was talking about portion control but not in the sense that we normally think of. She wasn't talking so much about how much is on the plate but was referring to how much goes in the mouth at a time.

I think a lot of people with weight issues (myself included) are fast eaters...and we tend to have large "bite" sizes. 

I know I do...especially when I am hungry. So for this week I am going to try and focus on how much I am actually putting in my mouth at a time. 

Tomorrow may be my last blog for a little while but I promise I will not be going AWOL on you again. I am having laser eye surgery done Friday afternoon so it may be a few days before I can see clearly and even if I can I am supposed to limit my exposure to the computer etc. for a bit.

Whether you like it or not though...I will be back!

Be healthy!

Alan

To Weigh Or Not To Weigh?

Today is weigh in day at Weight Watchers.

As a lifetime member I am only required to weigh in once a month but they encourage you to weigh in once a week.

My dilemma is this: My weight is not going down and it may even have gone up a couple of pounds, but the shape of my body is, yet again, changing.

I had developed a bit of a tummy again with my last weight gain but since starting bootcamp May 30th (which I combine with strength training three times a week) I have noticed a slight weight increase but the stomach is shrinking and the shirts are fitting better. I think this can only be good.

The tummy isn't completely gone but I seriously wonder if there is value in doing a weigh-in. Being told I am "up" has such negative connotations but at this point in my journey it actually may not be a bad thing.

Very confused about this one...not sure what I will do when I get there...we will see.


Be healthy!

Alan

You Are Beautiful

Are you on a journey for health? If you are really being honest with yourself...are you? If you are I salute you!

If I am being honest I am on a journey that includes health as a very important piece (and an amazing side benefit), but it is really a journey of vanity. It is a journey that I hope results in my looking the best I possibly can.

Don't get me wrong. I am under no illusion that I will look twenty again. I am approaching 50...looking 40 is ok with me.

I doubt I am alone.

For the those of us on the journey TOWARD vanity it makes me wonder what we thing of ourselves NOW? Do we think we are are beautiful (or handsome) NOW or do we hope we will be one day?

When I look around at the beautiful people I have met on this journey it makes me realize that we are all beautiful...inside and out.

I don't think there is anything wrong with striving to look better...but we need to make sure we tell ourselves that we are also perfect just the way we are.

People in this world can be cruel and comments can hurt. Even adults can be cruel...they just tend to be better at being "subtly cruel".

When those moments come remember the lyrics of this awesome song:

"I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today" 


Be healthy and enjoy this first day of summer!


Alan

Making The Connection...For Real

Do you believe there is a connection between food and the way we feel? Of course you do. We all do. We say it all the time.

The real question is do you pay close attention to that connection between food and the way you feel?

It is easy when you overeat and suddenly feel gross...but what about when it is more subtle?

I was doing my Bootcamp session this morning when my friend started talking about how she had been out the night before and almost everything she ate involved bad carbs. She could really notice the difference in her work out.

I was thinking that my workout was different too. It wasn't that is was harder (although it was hard)...it was that my breathing was different. When I run outside I always get out of breath quickly but today there was a wheezing sound along with the "out of breath" sound.

I wondered if it was directly related to the chemicals etc. in my "end of the night binge" last night.

We had eaten well all day and had a delicious fish with Salad for dinner but then Jamie had a craving for a treat.

It was my fault really. We had Cheese Doritos and Coke stored downstairs (left over from our recent party).  I brought them up and said to Jamie: "It's your call...we can open them or not." I was fully prepared to abide by whatever decision he made but I knew damn well that if I set them in front of him they would be opened...and they were...and we ate.

I had no immediate negative repercussions and I felt fine this morning...but then I got this wheezing sound in my breath while working out.

I can't say for sure if it is related to last night's snacks or not but I suspect it is.

So now I hope to focus on my reactions to foods more instead of paying lip service to the connection between food and the way we eat.

If I can establish a direct correlation it may help me avoid the bad stuff.

Be healthy!

Alan

Boot Camp

Hi all!

Boot Camp has been my new thing this month. When I blogged a while ago that I was struggling and needed to find something new to re-motivate me, a good friend of mine suggested I try Boot Camp. It took me a few months to actually do it but I have been doing it since the end of May and am really enjoying it.

Boot Camp made me realize that I am really not as fit as I thought I was. In a gym I can lift pretty heavy weights and I could go on the elliptical for two hours if I want to no problem, but get me running around a park touching trees and I am out of breath in approximately sixty seconds. The difference is amazing.

Don't get me wrong. I am NOT knocking the gym. I actually get quite frustrated when exercise encouragement is presented with statements like " You don't have to go to the gym...or get on the 'dreadmill' to exercise". It is a true statement but it puts down a form of exercise that many people actually love doing...myself included. I like the gym.

Boot Camp, however, adds a new element to my activity and confuses my body a bit more. I am not sure if I am losing weight because of it but I "feel" more fit.

Essentially at 6:00AM Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I show up at a park where we do a mixture of cardio and strength exercise. The only apparatus used are a tension band, a yoga mat, and your own body. For one hour I am challenged. I will run until my heart rate is high, then continue exercising with strength type exercise that allow you to continue exercising while your heart rate drops a bit, and then as soon as you just start to feel like you can breath again...you are once again off to the races. The sessions are great and being outside for them is really nice.

They sessions are held in month long packages and this package ends on June 24th. On the day it ends I am also having laser eye surgery and I am not sure how long it will be before I am back to normal so I don't think I will join for the month of July.

My friend Andres wants to give it a shot though so if he is up for it maybe I will do it again in August.

One thing it has taught me is that I need to do more cardio that is not equipment based. \

Our gym has various exercise classes and I will be doing more of those for sure.

Have a great Father's Day...and be healthy!

Alan

P.S: The website for Boot Camp is: http://www.bestbodybootcamp.com/

Here we go again!

Hello my blog friends!

Sorry I have been gone so long.

I wish I could tell you something specific happened that kept me from blogging but there was no one specific thing. I could say I got busy but I have done it when I am busy before. I could say I ran out of things to say...and there is truth in that...but life is still here and things are still happening so there are things to write about.

Perhaps it was because I started feeling like less of an inspiration. I have struggled for months now so I have not really been in a position to "lead by example".

Leading by example has never really been the primary purpose of the blog though. I am happy when I can do that, but it has been about sharing struggles and realizing we are not alone.

The reality is I NEED this blog and I need you. You keep me "aware".

Now getting down to the weight thing. I have to tell you I am a bit confused.

From a scale perspective it is not good. I am 204 pounds now and when I reached my goal I was 176 pounds. The thing is though, I don't feel like I used to feel at 204 pounds. Most of my shirts fit too.

I know there is some tummy there that I would like to lose but there is also a lot more muscle that I didn't possess the last time I was this weight.

The problem is I feel comfortable. Maybe that is not a problem...I don't know. It is hard to lose weight when overall you feel comfortable at the weight you are at.

Am I going to try and lose the tummy? Yes. Am I going to stress myself out about it? No. This is what I have been saying to myself.

Sounds good right? The problem is it lacks motivation and when I lack motivation I tend to go up rather than stay the same or go down.

So I am trying to find ways to re-motivate myself to lose the weight...again.

One of these ways has been through a program called "Boot Camp". Will write about this tomorrow.

Have a great weekend everyone. I missed you!

Be healthy!

Alan

Happy Birthday To Me

I couldn't NOT do a blog today. It's my birthday!

I realized last year that birthdays are meant to be celebrated because there are too many gone from this world who no longer get this luxury.

So I am going to celebrate every one I have the pleasure of enjoying.

It is great to get birthday wishes from friends. It reminds you you are loved...and we all need that.

I am so very grateful for the wonderful people in my life.

It would be hard to find better friends.

You all mean so much to me.

The day has been great. Well..it started yesterday with a great birthday celebration for my friend Cara, and then went on to a Karaoke night at a pub with more wonderful friends (I do not sing). Just after midnight (the official start of my birthday) the whole bar started singing "Bye Bye Miss American Pie" which was a song my sister Shirley used to sing before she passed away. I like to think it was her way of saying Happy Birthday :-)

Today I slept in ( a little hung over but not a lot) , then Jamie took me for lunch and shopping (bought four shirts), then came home, had a nap. then finalized a real estate deal, and we are off for birthday dinner soon. I am not worrying about what I eat today.

What a GREAT day!

Loy you all!

Alan

Paleo Diet

Hello all!

Hope you are doing well.

I have been doing GREAT health-wise lately. I am on a "diet" called the Paleo diet.

I know...diet's can be a problem and they tend to fail eventually...but sometimes I think one just needs a change to get re-motivated, and to be honest I really like the nutritional fundamentals of this diet so if it works out...who knows...it may just become my new way of eating. I think I would like that.

Essentially my food intake is comprised of proteins (primarily from organic meats, eggs, and fish), lots of fruits and vegetables, and some nuts. No dairy, grains or legumes.

At first glance this goes against the grain of my tried and true weight loss plan which is Weight Watchers. They have healthy guidelines which require you to eat dairy and whole grains daily.

I have examined the nutritional charts for the Paleo diet, however, and at the end of the day I think you can still be on this plan and do what is called the "Simply Filling Technique" at Weight Watchers. While it is true that I am not getting their "healthy guidelines" in as prescribed, the rational behind the healthy guidelines is to ensure you get sufficient daily nutrients such as calcium etc in. The foods I am eating do accomplish (actually exceed) this objective so, ultimately, I am accomplishing what WW wants me to accomplish.

I have to tell you I feel amazing. The energy level has spiked and I wake up ready to go. I am not sure if this is a temporary feeling or not but I am loving it.

I generally don't crave the missing carbs. The only exception to that is when I pass a bakery, but at home I don't really think about it. I miss having milk in my coffee, but that is helping me drink less coffee which is also a good thing.

So far so good!

Be healthy!

Alan

Getting Things In Order To Move Forward

Jamie and I have taken a lot of chances in our lives...we haven't had it "together" in case of the unexpected.

We have no Will, minimal Life Insurance and, in general, we have been unprepared.

I think finally getting my taxes done woke me up. It is so easy to put everything off, but I think that even though we don't spend every minute of our day thinking about these things, everything adds up little by little and you end up walking around with extra baggage you don't need.

So we are getting it done. Improving the Life Insurance, doing the Will, doing a Living Will...in essence...doing what we need to do.

You may ask what this has to do with health?...I think the answer is "a lot".

It is not healthy having things weighing on you, and once the things are taken care of it is harder to have an excuse for putting your health off. The other important things you need to do are done. Health is what is left to focus on.

I am glad my financial affairs are all being put in order. It helps one breath easier.

Be healthy!

Alan

Spring Cleaning

I cleaned the top floor of our house yesterday.

When I say I cleaned I mean I CLEANED!

Closets emptied and cleaned, summer clothes brought out, dresser drawers emptied, vacuumed out and resorted, floors done, windows cleaned. I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned...for 8 hours!

A couple of interesting things came to light:

1) I learned that according to Weight Watchers online tracking system 8 hours of cleaning equals thirty activity points. I think that is a bit too high but I took full advantage of it anyways and used it to enjoy an entire bottle of wine last night :-)

2) There is no way in hell my summer clothes are going to fit.

I have some really nice summer clothes but as I was hanging the shirts I was realizing that unless I stay on track I cannot wear them. I certainly can't wear them now.

Thankfully it wasn't depressing...it was motivating.

I am going to get in those damn shirts if it kills me!

Be healthy!

Alan

Distinguishing Treat Needs From Satiation Needs

I hadn't really thought much about the distinction between "treat needs" and "satiation needs" until last week when I found myself standing in a Corner Store looking at Chocolate bars....wait...it was actually after leaving a Corner Store and eating a Chocolate Bar that I thought about it...there is a big difference.

There is nothing wrong with a treat. We all deserve treats. The thing is though, treats are ideally consumed when you are NOT hungry.

I bought my chocolate bar treat when I WAS hungry.

I actually thought I was making a smart choice. I had room for the WW points involved and I was choosing a Cadbury Slim Bar. Not bad right?

WRONG.

The problem with this scenario is that the "treat" did absolute nothing to make me feel satiated. It was not even remotely filling so as a result I still needed to eat more to feel satiated.

As obvious as the distinction between "treat" and "satiation" may be I had never really taken the time to think about it before.

Hungry time is not treat time. Maybe it is ok to have a treat if you are feeling "peckish" but not if you are feeling hungry.

If you are feeling hungry you need to focus on satiating foods.

Yes it is true...satiating foods can also be a treat. I find a Burger and Fries for instance a wonderfully satiating treat.

I am not talking about "meal treats" though. I am talking about the little snack that will carry us through.

So now I have one more thing to think about. When I am hungry I have to focus on what will actually make me feel full.

Funny how I can sometimes be so oblivious to the obvious.

Be healthy!

Alan

7 oz Of Wine

Well I did it.

I went back on track last Monday and did an entire week of 100% tracking of everything that went in my mouth. More importantly...I stayed on track.

I am not going to pretend it was easy. The tracking was easy...but the food/exercise balancing was a bit of a challenge.

I had exercised and saved points for a great night out Wednesday night and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but after Wednesday night it left me with only three "extra points" (meaning points above and beyond my daily allowance) to use over the remaining four days.

Three points is not a lot (we are talking a cookie maybe) and I was afraid I would require more. The only way to gain additional points is to exercise. If you exercise you get what are called "activity points".

So...I exercised.

The problem is that I was exercising so much I think it increased my need for food intake...so I was staying on plan and exercising, but eating pretty much every activity point I gained. There was really nothing going in the reserve bank in case a special occasion came up.

Fortunately nothing came up.

I did 10 1/2 hours of intense exercise over the week, and last night, as the day drew to an end I had exactly six points left I could still use and be in balance.

So what did I do? I went to Weight Watchers e-tools program, entered "wine" and figured out that 7 0z of wine is 6 points. After all my efforts during the week I didn't want to end the week even one point over so I got a measuring cup, measured out 7 oz of wine, put it in a wine glass, and enjoyed.

There was something extra special about that glass of wine. It was the reward for a perfectly in balance week.

Now all I have to do it do it again this week.

I am going to.

Be healthy!

Alan

Do you have a Frienemy? You need one.

Do you have a Frienemy?

I have a few. If you don't have one you should get one. They are vital to success.

What is a Frienemy?

It is someone who encourages you to do the things you don't want to do. Someone who is such a good friend they are willing to be perceived by you as their enemy (not literally) from time to time to push you past your barriers and get you though the "excuse" zone.

I work out with a Frienemy sometimes. He really pushes me to surpass my "walls". If I am working out with him and I say I am tired he totally ignores it and never gives me a break. He may adjust the type of workout we do...but he will still ensure I workout hard.

I have a Frienemy who really encouraged me to try "Bootcamp" for exercise when I was slipping. I still haven't actually done that but I want to and the encouragement to do it kept pushing me in the right direction.

Frienemies encourage you to eat healthy when you want to eat crap. They tell you to get off your ass.

Most importantly though...Frienemies never ever judge you.

I have lots of Frienemies on this blog too. They call me on my crap and tell me to stop making excuses.

I love my Frienemies....and I need you.

Thanks for getting me back on track.

Be healthy!

Alan

It was a 99 point day!

I ate 99 points plus values yesterday. That is a lot.

For those of you not familiar with Weight Watchers that is about three times more points plus values than I am allotted for the day.

I tracked it all though, and I am totally on plan. That is why I love Weight Watchers. I can go out and have fun like a normal person and make it all work.

Right now I am tracking Monday to Monday. I had already done five hours of exercise this week which built up some activity "points plus" values and I still had the 49 "extra" points we we are allowed to use as we see fit throughout the week so after eating my 99 points and entering it on the Weight Watchers system I not only haven't gone into the negative I still have three extra "points plus" value points to use as I wish throughout the week.

Three points is not a lot saved in the bank in case of the "unexpected" but the good news is that as long as I keep working out I will gain more activity points which will give me a few more points plus values should I need them on the weekend.

The good thing about this plan is that it is so doable when you actually do it.

I had beer (a lot) and chicken wings last night. I didn't sacrifice at all. I tracked it and I don't feel guilty.

It's a new day, it's a new life, it's a new world.....and I'm feeling good!

Be healthy!

Alan

....and I'm back!!!

I AM BACK!!!!

I mean that in a multitude of ways. I got back on track Monday morning and I REALLY feel it. I have the energy, the desire, and the will.

I haven't blogged for the longest period ever. That was partly a personal need to just re-group, but also a need I have had to get something in my life over and done with for the longest time.

Can you guess what that is?

TAXES!

I haven't blogged about this before, but believe it or not taxes have been one of my biggest impediments over the past year.

You see...I let myself get in a mess. I mixed Real Estate receipts and B&B receipts in the same boxes. I didn't separate personal stuff from business stuff...and every time I wanted to sort it out I just got stressed...and it didn't get done. Half the time I ate instead.

I am not just talking about 2010 taxes. I hadn't done 2009 either. The only good news is that I stopped the damaged at the beginning of 2011 and have tracked everything for 2011 on Quicken every day...so I am now up-to-date daily.

I cannot believe how much having something hanging over my head impeded me.

It stressed me constantly...and it greatly contributed to my decision to drop or just not enrol for certain Nutrition courses. My life for the past two years has been centred around finding the time to get it done...stressing because it is not done...and yet never getting it  done.

I suspect I am not alone. It may not be taxes but I think many of us have "that one thing" that is hanging over our head and messing everything up in our lives.

My advice is not easy...believe me I know that...but my advice is heartfelt and strong: JUST DO IT! Stop EVERYTHING ELSE and get that one thing done. It is the only way to move forward.

On Sunday...my taxes were done. I owe a lot of money but I don't even care...I just wanted it done because I wanted to...no...I needed to...move on.

So now my life can be focused on what it should be focused on...myself...my health...my husband...my work...and hopefully doing some good in this world along the way.

I am going to take the most direct route down the road to health for a while...and blogging is back as part of my regular routine.

That doesn't mean I won't have fun. After Weight Watchers tonight I am going to a comedy club with friends...and beer WILL be involved. I have planned for it...and I will have it.

I am not going to promise but I am thinking I am going to try and blog Monday to Fridays and take the weekends off.

I missed you.

I am so happy right now...and relieved!!!!

Off to the gym now.

Be healthy!

Alan

Quote of the day (slightly altered): "Beer and Wine are cheaper than gas....DRINK....DON'T DRIVE!!!!!"

A Year Of Blogging - Time To Reflect

I wrote my first blog on April 17, 2010. A year has gone by so quickly.

I think at this point it only makes sense to step back and reflect on how successful I have been.

I guess I have to start by saying I am not as successful as I had hoped. I had hoped I would be living a perfect life of organic foods with only the occasional "meal out" as an indulgence.

In reality, I am not that much further forward than where I was.

Am I disappointed? Not really. It just re-emphasizes that this journey has no end. It is a life journey and success only really comes when one embraces that realization.

I have been FAR more successful than I would have been without this blog, and I have made so many good friends along the way. I have also strengthened my relationship with old friends.

The blog hasn't had the same emphasis in my life lately I must admit. I do enjoy doing it, but I don't set my alarm clock to do it anymore, and it is not an "everyday" blog anymore. I actually think that is a good thing. It is more balanced and less "forced". At least I hope it is.

From time to time I have contemplated whether or not to stop doing the blog. I even thought the one year mark would be a good time to finish it.

I am not going to stop. I need it. If nothing else I need it as a forum to keep my public commitments and post a damn picture of myself half naked every two months. That really helps to keep me in check.

More than needing "it" though....I need you. Your support always brings me back on track when I falter and I thank you for that.

So whether you like it or not...I'm not going away.

Be healthy!

Alan

I AM CHANGING!

The lyrics to "I am Changing" from Dream Girls are:

Look at me 
Look at me 

I am Changing 
Trying every way I can 
I am changing 
I'll be better than I am 
I'm trying 
To find a way 
to understand 
but I need you 
I need you 
I need a hand 

I am changing 
Seeing everything so clear 
I am changing 
I'm gonna start right now right here 
I'm hoping 
To work it out and I know that I can 

But I need you 

I need a hand 



I think Jennifer Hudson should use that song in some of her WW commercials too. Love the lyrics.  The song describes my overall feeling for this past year....and I am changing.


It is a long haul down this road and I often fall backwards down the hill but bit by bit I am unlearning all those old nasty habits that are seemingly ingrained in me.


I mentioned in my last blog that for two weeks I was going to get food delivery of freshly prepared organic foods from my friend Justine's new business "Fuel Nutrition". The website is http://fuel-nutrition.ca/ . 


I have to tell you the food is delicious and it is just the right amount. When I first saw it I thought "this is way too little food" but it is four separate smaller meals. 


You make your own, small, healthy breakfast and then eat these four meals about three hours apart. I feel "comfortable" all the time. Never full and never hungry, but most importantly I am already feeling more energetic.


I can't afford to do this long term but whenever I need a little "kick start" I will use this service. It is great!


I am thinking I may have it delivered on Wednesdays on a permanent basis if they will do that. 


Wednesday nights are "weigh-in nights" so Wednesdays can get pretty erratic. I try not to, but too often I eat too little before getting on the scale and then pig out afterward.


Having that day pre-prepared for me in a consistently healthy manner could be a very good thing.


I am feeling good!


Be healthy!


Alan