I had to force myself to eat last night. Not because I wasn't hungry...I was actually quite hungry.
It was because I need to break old habits.
My problem was with the fact that I knew I had to step on the scale this morning. Why would I eat if I have to step on the scale? That would be just be plain silly. Right?
I should starve myself tonight and then go get something deliciously fattening for breakfast after the weigh-in. It is the best of both worlds. I am "down" on the scale, and my subsequent pig-out can't possible still be showing by the time I weigh in next week right?! Do you think like me?
That was the "old" me talking. I wish "old" meant months or years ago....but it is more like weeks ago.
I am finally "getting" that I fool no-one but myself. I am better off being honestly "up" and in control then artificially down because I am starving and binging. Why is that my nature is to binge and starve? Why is it a challenge to eat normal no matter what?
I think it is because I want success...we all do. Is success really success if it isn't come by honestly though? Is being "up" really a failure if you know it is simply because you recently had a valid "indulgence"?
I want REAL success. I want long term success.
I think I am finally getting to know myself.
By the way, I was actually down exactly one pound this morning.
Be healthy!
Alan
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3 comments:
Once again congrats. Discovering out who you are all over again can be interesting.
Take care my friend, and I am glad that you are taking the time to taste and enjoy (or not) the food you are eating (we do tend to get in a rut from time to time).
Congratulations on the pound and the realizations. I have always tried to keep my Wednesdays light because of weigh in and this week I had my lunch packed for me. It was fabulous leftovers of schnitzel & perogies which I love but I was really hesitant to eat that on wi day and thought about leaving it until Thursday. The games we play. So I enjoyed it and drank all my water and weighed in and was down a pound.
You are right, the only person we are fooling is ourselves.
Have a great week.
M. WW.
You two are such tremendous support group. It is so nice to have friends who "get it".
Alan
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