I was sent a private message by someone who read my blog yesterday and pointed out that my weight loss was not the primary focus anymore. The point being that this reflects, in a positive way, on where my head is at in terms of my journey.
It really struck a chord with me. I realized that although I want to reach my August 11th weight goal, and I will reach that goal, when it comes down to it it really doesn't matter that much to me anymore.
Why? Because as far as I am concerned the weight goal is reached. If I stay the weight I am now, for the rest of my life, I will be totally thrilled. Making "goal" isn't much more than a challenge now and I am not sure I will stay there anyway. The knowledge of that feels amazing.
The really amazing thing though is that I think I have finally reached that point in my life where it is "off" for good. Will I gain ten pounds again? Yes. Will I have challenges? Yes. Will I be large again? Never.
There is a peace that comes with that knowledge.
When President Obama was elected, Whoopi Goldberg said that she had been wandering around the USA feeling like she belonged, but without even realizing it she felt, in the back of her mind, that as a black person she always had "luggage" with her. When a black person was elected President she felt like she could finally put her bags down.
That is how I feel today. I feel like I can finally put my bags down because I "get it". It is not really about the weight loss. It is about feeling you have a right to be who you are and who you want to be. It is about feeling in control of yourself. It is about feeling "self-empowerment through personal responsibility" (I stole that quote from my nutrition course because I love it!).
I get it now...and I'm not going to let it go. I will slip from time to time, sometimes on purpose, but I will never fall.
Be healthy!
Alan
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4 comments:
What a great way to start the day! That is an amazing revelation and so very true. That is what it should be about but too many of us can't get there and focus far too much on the number on the scale. There is someone I knew who was very thin and active and I often wished that I could be like her. Until I found out she lived on coffee, cigarettes and cheesies and had a heart attack at 44. Taking care of ourselves, being healthy with our food choices and activity will get us to where our bodies should be.
I have made that vow to never be 'fat' again but when I leave WW and the group, I have gained. My only vow this time is to stay. Quitting is not an option. I know that as long as I am there, I will stay aware and I will stay healthy.
I plan to see my goal weight again, but it isn't my main focus either.
Good for you, almost at goal, but when you do get there, will you still stay with your WW meetings?
M. WW.
I have to tell you my own frickin blog has really got the better of me today. Every time I read it I tear up.
Will I stay at Weight Watchers? I will still be there when I am 105! :-)
Cindy better still be there too though!
Alan
Once again congrats on the scale, but a bigger congrats on being yourself. I do enjoy your blog and all of the comments written by others, and I too hope you will continue going to WW until you are 105 (for maintenance only - you will be at your goal for 50+ yrs. by then), PLUS - I do hope you continue to write this blog. Not only has this been your Road to Nutrition and Health, I also think it has been the road to Alan finding himself and being truly happy with who he is. Yes we all have our challenges, mine is to lose another ...lbs, but having lost and kept off the 30lbs I did lose for over a year now, I do know that yes I must start on my next mission, and as you said earlier - the exercise routine is going to play a big part.
Your honesty has helped to inspire those of us who read your blog.
Take care my friend.
Thanks Karen.
For someone who met me for 5 minutes you seem to me like one of those old friends you have known for years. You know the ones...the ones who know you better than you know yourself :-)
I will keep blogging. It is a journey of discovery in so many ways :-)
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