Man Girdles Don't Work!

OK I admit it...I bought one...it was a year ago...but I did do it...I bought one...wait...that's a lie...I bought two...one in white and one in black...I even bought the matching "precision underwear".

Yesterday...I wore it. The Man Girdle.

But lets go back to a year ago when I bought the stupid things. They had just come out and were only available at Holt Renfrew. My tummy was not in a good "place" at the time so when I read the marketing for this I thought "This is great! It will pull the tummy right back  in!"

I clearly needed a large size but I bought a medium. Smaller meant maximum suction right? Actually I think too small meant that the thing pushed from the top and bottom of the tummy and actually forced the tummy to protrude...so the man girdle was put in a drawer for good...or so I thought.

Then I lost some weight and bought this pinkish striped long sleeve shirt that I really love. I wore it to my niece's wedding, gained weight back again, and it went in the closet to stay there until I was back in shape.

The thing is, my buddy Maurizio loved the shirt too, and I promised him a while ago that I was going to wear that shirt on his wedding day. Guess what...the wedding day was yesterday.

I pulled the shirt out and tried it on and it did fit but it was a bit tight. That was when Jamie said..."why don't you wear the man-girdle". It was a brilliant idea! I had lost enough weight that I actually was the right size for it so I went to try it on.

Just so you get an idea...it is basically a spandex type undershirt.

I started to put the thing on and got stuck half way. It was at about my shoulder blades on my back but it had rolled up and I couldn't unroll the damn thing. Of course Jamie was in the shower and not available to help.

Stuck is stuck though so I went into the bathroom and made him help me anyway.

Picture me stuck with my undershirt half on and Jamie soaking wet leaning out of the shower trying, not too successfully, to pull it down. Kind of a weird scene.

Anyway...we got it on and it worked! It felt a little tight but wasn't really uncomfortable and since the shirt was now the right "size" it did hold things in place.

I thought the feeling of tightness was actually a good thing...that would keep me in control at dinner....NOT!

I have to stop here and say the wedding was beautiful, as were our dear friends Maurizio and Diane. Maurizio was positively beaming with happiness, Diane was overcome with emotional joy, and Diane's mother, who was here from South Africa, looked positively stunning...just a beautiful beautiful time with a beautiful beautiful wedding party.

We went to dinner at Canoe Restaurant after. The dinner was fantastic, as was the view, but it was a special occasion and as much as I had had good intent yesterday morning, I didn't even think about diet. I had what I wanted for an appetizer, for dinner and even though none of us were hungry we had an amazing dessert.

I remember others around the table saying they were so full they weren't going to eat all of their dessert...but that wasn't even enough to stop me. I wasn't hungry but I was hell bent on finishing it. Why do I do this? I really need to figure this out.

So why doesn't the man girdle work? Because as you grow, throughout an evening, the medium that was the right size for your body at the start of the night, becomes a medium on a large body by the end of the night. As the stomach begins to distend, instead of flattening it, is starts too push from top and bottom which I think actually makes you look fatter...or maybe I should have been in a "large size" from the start :-(

So I had a wonderful evening with wonderful friends, too much food, copious amounts of wine and two shots of Limoncello.

Do I regret it? Not for a second.

Am I worried? Very much.

This is too many days of eating too much.

I did go to the gym yesterday but I won't have time today. It has to stop and it has to stop now.

Tonight we are having dinner at our friends Naoko and Albert but that should be ok. Naoko cooks good food and proper portion sizes and Albert goes to Weight Watchers with me so they understand.

I want to enjoy summer but I also want to feel and look good and that means it is time reign it in. I have said it a few times in the past few weeks with periods of success but not enough success...now...I have to actually listen to myself.

I must close with wishes of love and happiness for Maurizio and Diane. We love you so much.

Be healthy!

Alan