Although I will post this blog Thursday morning May 13th (just to be consistent with my daily blog routine) I am actually writing it on Wednesday evening May 12th.
I think tomorrow morning I will be feeling great again but this blog is supposed to be about "truth" so I want to write it now when my emotions are still "raw".
I weighed in tonight and I am "down". I should be really happy because I am down 1.6 pounds and that is a really good, and safe, number.
The problem is I set myself up.
I was SURE that I was FINALLY going to go back below the 200 pound mark this week. I even pretty much had my "success" blog written in my head.
Everything was looking good and I thought being sick this week would have "spilled" any excess pounds out of me so I was set for success!
I even cheated just before I left for Weight Watchers and weighed in at home. My scale said 199.5 pounds. Whooppee!!!
So off I went to Weight Watchers. I got on the scale...watched it go to 200.4...then had a glimpse of hope as it ever so briefly dropped to 200.2 before rebounding and settling back to 200.4 pounds. Believe me...their scales are the accurate ones.
Man was I frustrated. No...not frustrated...I actually felt a wave of depression come over me. Isn't it amazing how emotions can get to us...even when we have good news? They will if we let them.
The point of this blog isn't to feel sorry for myself. I know people who struggle with weight will get what I am saying...success doesn't always feel good...especially if you set your goals too high. If you are reading this and don't struggle with weight issues, perhaps it will resonate with other things going on in your life...or perhaps you will think I am just a complete idiot. If the latter is true you may be right! LOL
I know all the right answers. I know this week's weight loss was a "safe" rate of weight loss, I know that without my clothes on I actually WOULD be under 200 pounds, I know that that number is just an arbitrary figure, and I know that being sick can throw everything off anyway. I also know that this journey is primarily supposed to be about HEALTH!
I guess the purpose of writing this is because it is therapeutic for me (I am actually feeling better already) and to make the point that we can all be totally illogical sometimes and when we are we simply need to recognize that we are, and move on.
I know when I read this tomorrow morning I am going to feel different and want to change it before posting it but that wouldn't be "real" so this is going to be posted the way it is written right now with no changes.
Here's to next week and be healthy!
Alan
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5 comments:
I know that I am happy for you - 1.6 lbs is GREAT!! You have to think of it as the glass half full (of healthy water), not half empty. Remember too that you may have weeks that the scales will not go down, it doesn't mean defeat. You are working out as well, and we all know that muscle weighs more than fat, so that too is going to play a part in your weight loss.
As always chin up(s), and I know that next week at this time I will be congratulating you after you have written your 'Success' blog.
Thanks Karen. I am feeling much better about things today and pumped for this week. I think my real issue may have just been that I am trying to take on too much at once and need to find some "balance" in my life. I am making some tough decisions today and that will be the subject of tomorrow's blog :-)
Not too sure if I am looking forward to tomorrow's blog or not. I do know that your 'GOAL' will not be be affected by whatever decisions that you have to make today.
As Forrest Gump would say 'Life is like a box of chocolates' I say - 'Just don't eat the whole damn box', and perhaps that is what is happening in your life at the moment. As you say 'balance', and yes you will find it.
HEY AL - YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE DOING AMASINGLY WELL - BY MY CALCULATIONS THATS ALMOST 10 LBS ALREADY!
YOU ARE INSPIRING ME TO "THINK" ABOUT GOING TO WW MYSELF TO TRY AND SHIFT THE 30 LBS I'D LIKE TO LOSE BEFORE I HIT THE BIG 5 0 IN OCTOBER!
JUST KEEP DOING IT - WHATEVER IT IS - IT SEEMS TO BE DOING THE TRICK!!!
Cxx
Thanks Catherine!
Your absolutely right. I'm an "extremist" in pretty much everything and set my expectations too high. That is something ELSE I need to work on LOL.
I think you should DEFINITELY go to Weight Watchers. You will feel SO much better.
My only suggestion is that you don't simply settle on any old meeting. Shop around different meetings and/or locations until you find a leader that inspires you. I honestly believe that if you find the right leader, 50% of the battle is already won.
So stop THINKING! LOL
Much love,
Alan
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