I am trying to be realistic about the next three days.
As I mentioned yesterday I am struggling right now and am heading into a really difficult week work/study wise.
If I have learned anything on this journey it is to know myself.
Unfortunately I know myself well enough to know that nothing I write on this blog is going to magically make me eat properly this week. My head isn't in the right place and when I have tests and assignments I have real struggles even when my head IS is in the right place.
So...I have decided to work with that knowledge and at least try to find some grounds of compromise.
My rules will be:
1) I still cannot bring new processed food into the house. I have to have it to eat it.
2) I will not eat out.
3) I will allow myself to have heavier meals but will try and avoid continually eating all day.
4) I will accept that each day I may need a snack or two, maybe even three (but not 15), to get through the next three days.
5) Starting Thursday after breakfast, I will do a minimum three day fruit and vegetable cleanse to try and "flush" the damage and reset things a bit. I have been saying I would do this since getting back from vacation but have yet to actually do it.
I am going to gain weight by Thursday with this strategy. I know that, and no, I don't like it. Especially since I am sure I have already gained weight this week.
I just hope by keeping it "real" the damage will be less than it normally is.
Alan
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4 comments:
I am totally hearing you today Alan! :-(
I'm not sure of that is a good thing or a bad thing :-)
What do you want out of this week? Food, good marks, feeling of satisfaction or failure that you went back to your old ways of handling stress?
You are using the studying as an excuse to eat.
I say this as a friend, not as a negative comment.
I have said it before and I will say it again - ARE YOU WORTH THE EFFORT?????
Thanks for that Anonymous.
The only downside I have ever thought existed on this blog is that everyone is so encouraging and polite. Glad you had the guts to slap me across the face and tell me to smarten up!
I'm not sure it is completely an excuse as I really do seem to have some kind of a need for a blood glucose surge to study effectively although even I think that my own words sound like an excuse.
Regardless...if this is the result of something like dealing with blood glucose imbalances the "treatment" is to remove refined carbohydrates from your diet so it brings me back to the same thing anyway: Eat Healthy.
You haven't succeeded in completely snapping me back into shape but you certainly have snapped me back faster. I am going to do what I need to do to get to the test tomorrow morning. Maybe it is an excuse to eat...but my choice is to do what I need to do.
I do not NEED to do it for three days though and that is where you are helping me tremendously.
You are right, this journey is about choice, and I am making choices that are not wise. I have a compulsive need to get high marks in things, and that puts me into an unnecessary level of "overdrive".
Yes, the assignment is due Thursday. I lose 5% a day if I hand it in late. That won't kill me and takes the pressure off, so the return to smart choices begins tomorrow morning...not Thursday Morning. If the assignment goes in late it goes in late.
The cleanse still begins Thursday morning.
So...I guess you called me on this and for the most part succeeded in smartening me up. I appreciate that.
Is not worrying about tonight still an excuse? Maybe...it's a choice anyway. Maybe not the best one...but a choice.
Alan
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