Relief Eating

Yesterday was a real stressful day.

The cruise ship I was supposed to be boarding this Friday was very damaged on the inside (see yesterday's blog) as a result of bad weather and it was unclear whether we were going to  be able to sail or not.

The reality is, that if we had chosen to, we could still sail this Friday. We did some investigation, however, and we were able to change our flight relatively inexpensively, and adjust our schedule, so that we skip one cruise and go on the next one. That will give them time to fix the ship up, and it will also give the weather time to calm down.

The B&B was already booked for the new vacation time, but a friend is going to run it for us in our absence so all is good. Now I will be home for Christmas too so that is kind of cool :-)

During the stress of everything going on yesterday I was so tempted to eat unhealthy. I had my defences up, and fought off the urge.

When everything got resolved there was an incredible sense of relief, followed by a dropping of the defences, and the eating of a large Cadbury Toffee bar and a Turtle.

Stupidity I know. I was so focused on avoiding stress eating, I "relief ate" without giving it too much thought.

The only good news in the story is that I am right back on track.

Between Family Christmas Saturday, and this today, I think the best I  can hope for is being equal on the scales tomorrow but I will take that.

Be healthy!

Alan

P.S. My thoughts are going out to my WW friend today on the anniversary of the loss of her child. We love you and are here for you...don't ever forget that

Stress Eating

Usually I write about how my day went the day prior. Today I am going to write about what is happening right now, BECAUSE of what happened yesterday.

To being with, lets go back to last August. We were scheduled to go on a Mediterranean cruise and two days before we left, due to unfortunate but completely understandable circumstances, the cruise was cancelled.

This Thursday we are supposed to leave for our rescheduled Mediterranean Cruise. Guess what? It may not happen...not even sure it should happen if it can.

Early yesterday morning the ship we are supposed to be boarding hit extremely rough waters in Egypt. Thirty people on board sustained minor injuries. The ship itself is safe and secure but this is what the inside now looks like.

We are not certain, at this point if we can, or should sail. The problem is we already paid $2500 for flight tickets and of course we didn't get cancellation insurance. I guess it would be possible to stay in Barcelona (where the ship departs from and our flight goes to) for the entire time but hotels there at Christmas are very expensive, if available at all.

So...we are waiting for word on whether or not sailing is even possible and will go from there.

My stress level right now is real high and when I am stressed I want to eat.

So far...I am holding out.

Give me strength and be healthy!

Alan

All We Need In This World Is Love

I am going to be kinda sappy today. It is also a long blog...so look out.

Yesterday was just an awesome day. It was a day of love.

We had our family Christmas and it was just an absolutely amazing day.

It was so great to see my family (I don't see them often enough) and to meet my new little Grandnephew Carter (so adorable) :-)

Dinner was fantastic (I had what I wanted for dinner but only one helping, and did have dessert but I think all things considered I did ok).

We toasted our relatives in Scotland at a pre-arranged time and they toasted us back as I communicated back and forth with them on Facebook. I think we have to figure out how to do it by Skype next year so we can do a live video thing.

READ FAMILY CHRISTMAS 2010

I got an awesome gift from Secret Santa. I am not sure who my Secret Santa was but whoever it was he/she is definitely related to my Mom because he/she "accidentally" left the price tag on showing it was twice the limit that was supposed to be spent LOL. If they are TRULY like my Mom they spent the right amount, remembered to take the sale price tag off and "forgot" to take the other one off. My Mom was a master at that. I absolutely love the sweater!

I got another really cool gift but it needs a bit of background...so yes...this is going to be a loooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg blog.

Probably 15 years ago I was travelling up to a cottage with my sister Shirley, who has now passed away. We stopped at a dive of a restaurant for breakfast and there was a painting on the wall called "Old Friends" that we both just absolutely loved. It just made you feel serene and peaceful, and it had the "feel" of my parent's cottage.

I went to see Shirley a while later and she had bought a print of the photo and framed it. I was soooo jealous.

When I was taking a course a few months ago we had to do a "Vision Board". I put a cut out of this painting that I printed off the internet on my Vision Board and as I speak it is on the Vision Board on the wall right beside my desk. I didn't really know what this picture meant to me but there is something about it that just made me feel "something". That picture has meaning to me.

Yesterday, my niece showed up for Christmas with her boyfriend who, it turns out, happens to be the son of the Artist of who painted this piece of art. I got a copy of the print signed by the Artist for Christmas. Soooooooo Coooooooollllll!

Old Friends - D. A. Dunford

After family Christmas we raced back to Toronto and barely got back in time to see the show Pricilla, Queen of The Dessert.

By the end of the first Act Jamie was absolutely loving the show, and I was "quite enjoying it". I didn't have the love factor...at least not yet.

It was technically great and the costumes were amazing, but there was something that didn't seem totally right for me.

It felt a bit like stereotypical gays were being made fun of without a lot of purpose. I wondered if it was just a laugh at someone else's expense.  I enjoyed it and said to myself "it is all in good fun"...and it was good fun. I just wasn't sure that the premise was sitting right with me.

The second Act, however, took away every ounce of inhibition I had. The POINT was that even the most extreme people in the world, no matter who they are, when brought down to their raw being are no different than all of us. At the end of the day we are all just people wanting to find love and be loved, in whatever way, shape, or form it may come.

It was truly touching and I left that theatre a die hard fan of the show.

If you didn't like the movie don't let it stop you from seeing the show. I had not liked the movie and didn't even really remember what it was about. This show is modernized, touching, and fantastic. It is here until early January and definitely worth seeing.

OK...now on to keeping my commitment. It somehow does not seem right to be posting a half naked picture of myself on the same blog as the "Christmas Blog" but I didn't think of this when I committed to posting it TODAY a couple of months ago. I also refused to believe that I might NOT be as thin as I wanted to be today.

Jamie took the picture for me yesterday and he named it, without thinking, before emailing it to me. I got the picture and guess what he called it? "FatAlan!" LOL I guess that should be the first hint.

Anyway, I am not too freaked by it because I remember how truly large I used to be. This is also supposed to be my "baseline" pic to use for comparison purposes as I focus on health and physique in 2011. So...I only improve from here.

Next Pic - Feb 12, 2011

I have committed to posting a similar pic of me every two months until 2012. Next pic....Feb 12th, 2012.

Be healthy!

Alan

IT'S CHRISTMAS TODAY!!!!

Christmas is here! Yay!!!!

Today is my family Christmas. As the family has grown, we have reached a stage where even the nieces and nephews have their own kids and their own in-laws to split Christmas with. It has become too hard for everyone to get together on Christmas Day.

We made a decision a few years ago that it was better to hold our Christmas on a different day and have as many of us present as possible, then it is to hold it on the actual day with half the people missing.

The weekend right before Christmas tends to be "panic shop" weekend for everyone, so that weekend doesn't work either. Two weekends before seems to make the most sense for our big family day.

That my friends, means that for me, Christmas is today...so........MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

I am particularly excited today because I am going to meet my new Grandnephew Carter for the first time. I will also get to see how big Charlie and Bobbie have grown....they are such adorable kids. I am afraid I don't see me family enough. Life just seems to slip by. I am sure before I even know it I will be at Carter's wedding saying "what happened?!". Where did the time go?!

Today is also the day I promised to take my baseline picture and post it on tomorrow's blog. I am afraid the baseline picture is going to be a little sad. There will be no way to conceal the tummy.

As I have mentioned, my goal it to focus on my health and my physique for 2011. So I vowed to post the baseline picture of me in just shorts tomorrow, and then a new picture showing the change (please universe...let there be a change) every other month on the 12th of the month after that. It will work or I will be embarrassed....so it will work.

At 4:30 Toronto time (9:30 Scotland time) I have promised to have my family, who will be gathered around the dinner table, raise a glass to my Mom's relatives in Scotland. They know this will be happening and cousin Lorraine and hopefully others will raise a glass back to us at the same time. Kinda cool I think.

I want to be good food-wise today. I am really hoping I will be but I also know I always fail at Christmas. I don't care so much about the actual dinner. I intend to enjoy that. It is the candies and chocolates around before and after that I want to avoid. I always end up say in "it's Christmas" when I get there and digging in.

I pretty much believe that the key to eating successfully is skill power and not will power. When everything is right in front of your face, however, I think it boils down to sheer willpower.  Please universe...give me the strength!

If any of my relatives read this you have my permission to slap me across the head if you see me eating anything bad when I am not actually AT the dinner table.

I know you have wanted to slap me across the head for years so today you finally get your chance.

Be healthy!

Alan

There Are Certain Things Nobody Should Have To Endure

I have re-written this blog ten times and I haven't managed to get to the second sentence yet. I have been thinking about writing it for quite a while.

It is a hard one to write and I am not sure how to start it.

I have been thinking lately about how truly lucky I am. My day to day stresses consist of things like the big struggle with whether or not to eat the dessert on the party tray.

OK...its not always that easy...sometimes it is hard...but in the scope of things, there are people in this world...people we know...who have no choice but to live through a much harder life.

When my sister passed away many years ago I remember that I was able to hang on to two positive thoughts:

1) The suffering was over (she had Ovarian Cancer)

2) I was so glad my parents passed first so that they did not have to live through the loss of one of their children. No parent should.

I know someone who has to go through each holiday season without her child. Her daughter passed away a couple of weeks before Christmas. It breaks my heart to think of someone having to live without their child. To have to cope with it every year while everyone is out celebrating and partying...I can't even begin to imagine. 

My hearts go out to the Flegg family too. They lost their daughter/sister in 1978 but I am sure the pain never really goes away.

This lady who lost her daughter a couple of weeks before Christmas inspires me. She makes me see that life has to go on. She has not given up on life. She attends WW and makes me smile every time I see her. In spite of everything she has been through she is such a positive energy.  She has such a wonderful laugh and smile. She is someone I wish I knew better.

I struggle with the dessert on the party tray. She lives with loss AND struggles with dessert on the party tray. 

It makes me realize how minuscule my day to day worries are.

The next time I am tempted to eat that dessert I am going to think of this lady and say to myself "get over yourself Alan". If this is your tough decision of the day, surely you can cope with that and make the right one.

Our struggles are a matter of perspective. Mine are quite small.

I don't know if my friend will read this but if she does, I hope she knows that she has people out there who love her and are there for her. I will especially be thinking of her on the 14th. Her strength to continue the drive to become a healthier person, and do it with a smile on her face, is amazing to me. She is my living hero.

Much love, and be healthy.

Alan

Feeling Pumped! Change Is So Good!

I went to our Weight Watchers meeting yesterday and was officially introduced to the new plan.

I am so glad that the plan FINALLY adequately reflects the fact that 100 calories does not equal 100 calories no matter how healthy the choice is or is not. 100 healthy calories are a better choice than 100 unhealthy calories. Shocker I know, but WW never really did a good job of making this distinction before...at least in my humble opinion.

To be honest though, for me I think I am more happy that there is a change PERIOD. I thrive on change and having to do things differently just brings a whole new feeling of invigoration to me.

I am ready for the challenge of the new WW plan!

Your change may not have anything to do with WW. You may not even be a member. But if you are struggling as I was up until last Monday, I really suggest you find a way to change something significantly. It might not have anything to do with food. Making my house spotless has reinvigorated me before.

Bottom line:

If nothing is changing the way you want it to...you need to change something.

I started this "change" last Monday and thank goodness I did. Even though I have been really good since Monday I am still 195 pounds which is five pounds over the range I set for the maximum of my safety range. That news alone is enough to keep me in check!

The picture of me that I promised to post on this blog Sunday morning of me in just shorts may be hazardous to your eyes.

Be healthy!

Alan

YES WE CAN!!!!

I think today is an important day.

It is an important day for those in my WW meeting because today is the day we are introduced to the new plan, but it is also an important day whether or not we are on WW.

It is a day where we MUST get our act together.

I am starting to feel like I am getting on the right track again but it continues to be hard.

I am finding that I am not alone. Many are saying they are struggling. It is a common message right now. Perhaps it is the time of year, perhaps it is just crappy weather, but many of us have been slipping.

IT'S TIME TO PREVENT THE LANDSLIDE FROM HAPPENING!

We can all do this if we do this together.

Not tomorrow, not the next day, and most certainly not January 1st! Get that thought out of your head right now. If you get that thought it might be contagious and I don't want to catch it! :-)

Lets face it, it is a tough, tough time of year...but it is not an unpredictable time of year...the same things happen every year.

If we pull up our socks and find the determination we had when we were really enthusiastic about our weight loss, we can not only get through December we can get through it feeling good about ourselves. That may or may not mean weight loss...weight maintenance through a holiday season is just as much of a success in my books.

So lets just decide to do it. We can if we want to. I for one have worked too damn hard to not want to.

So here's to holiday success...and a new beginning..............starting.....................NOW!

Be healthy!

Alan